Saturday 25 August 2012

Up and Down A Hill

The scene is a large slash of track that has been bulldozed through a verdant jungle. The track is uneven, scrawled into uneven rivulets by rain and water. Nonetheless, we endeavour to make our way up to the top.

The top of the slope ends abruptly in a mess of creepers. We clear it to reveal a hole. A borehole that's big enough to swallow a small elephant.

I stumble to the edge and falls in.

I emerge wedged in-between two tables. My chest is pinned and I cannot move my arms. On the table in front of me is a plate of roast pork. The skin looks crispy and inviting. Thus taunted, I try to wriggle free. It is useless. The pork remains out of reach.

Someone behind me pulls at my hair with a pair of chopsticks. I see myself eating some black seaweed. Am I the main course? Hmm....

The table is pulled apart. I fall and is tossed into a car. Am I kidnapped? 

The car careens about as if to escape a pursuer. Or police. I cannot be sure. It crashes into a barrier and onto a racetrack. A Mercedes safety car rolls to avoid crashing into us. We are in the middle of an F1 race. The drivers all looked stunned. I try to sit up and manage to catch a glimpse of Sebastian Vettel. he gives me the thumbs up. I take that as cue and kicks the car door open. Like James Bond, I roll myself out and ricochet on the road like a stone skimming a pond. I then crash into a hoarding that says: "A seat belt. Even the best wears them." Sebastian Vettel holds his up with one hand and gives his thumbs up with the other.

I remember saying, "Yeah, too late."

Someone is trying to squeeze me into a can like some Jack-in-the-Box. I try to resist but the pressure is great. My legs give way and crack and crumble below me. I don't feel pain. Somehow, I expect that to happen. The next thing I know, I'm on my knees on a large skateboard careening down a mountain slope.
Vettel is next to me and so is David Coultard. Both have crazy expressions on their faces. What are they high on? Adderall?

Someone shouts "Olympic gold!" and all three of us try to win the race.

Para-Olympic glory comes to mind and in that moment, I fly off the side of a cliff as we approach a bend. I grab my board as if doing a skateboard off-ram ollie. I land inside a dark tunnel and swings around inside. I then fly out into daylight again and lands. The rivulet-surface catches my board and I roll and tumble away. I slam into a tree and sends a nesting flock of parrots flying away. "Asshole, asshole, they say." I wake.

Cause and effect:

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